It's 10 A.M., and it's been way too productive of a Sunday already. In my head, I wish I could've slept in. 4:44 was some sort of cruel joke. But I am glad I got up so early. I finished up the last of the book, which makes me super happy. I've gotten some laundry done. I've got biscuits and gravy in the oven. And for fucks sake, I had time to watch the above video. I never get to watch stuff on the internet. And yes, I get to write on here :)
This week was so busy, I feel like none of it belonged to me. This being said, I was really selfish and spent too much time outside of the house this week. The week just flew by. I've got to get it together this week. My head is going crazy with all of the things I need to do....I'd list them, but we all have those lists in our heads. I will say this, I'll feel so much better when we find a house...
Yesterday I went on an Alzheimer's walk to support my friend Diana in her efforts to raise money. Diana has her own personal story for walking, and I can tell you, not a day goes by when the disease doesn't consume my thoughts at one point or another. My memory has always sucked. This certainly doesn't mean Alzheimer's. Brian has always joked that I already have it. For years, I nervously laughed along, but now, I shoot him a glare and tell him it's not funny. This friggin' disease comes up every time our Alaska family gets together. It's taken and is taking people we love and it's such a helpless feeling to see it happening and not be able to help. I really could go on and on about this...and I'll make jokes with my friends about it (I know...I don't like Brian doing it, but it's like making fun of my weight....I have to laugh at my own expense about it...otherwise I won't be able to breathe). But Alzheimer's is the thing I fear most in life. I fear for every single person in my family, as well as myself. I fear I've passed the gene onto my boys. When the Canadian government does a study on your family (due to the occurrences of early onset), it's the real fucking shit. I fear for my friends that worry they're going to get it. It's a real fear. I pray....that a cure is found soon. I am proud of my friend for doing her part and raising funds yesterday. I really am. I'm proud that Caleb was excited to walk with us. I'm proud that so many are working so hard toward a cure that not so long ago was taboo to talk about. Okay...sorry, I'll stop now. Big sigh.
I had some other things I was going to write about, but I've gone and gotten myself sad. Fuck. Let me tell you the hormone issues with this period are as bad as I've had. I've cried about the Photograph video from Ed Sheeran (ahhh Ed Sheeran), music on the radio, looking at pictures of my thinner self, thinking about stuff from the past that I should be over and thought I was over, all sorts of stupid stuff. I'm ready for this to be over!
If you want to moved to tears also, watch Ed's video. I feel I'm close enough with him now just to call him Ed. I mean, one friend did get a pic taken with him at a meet and greet, and another friend of mine met him last week at Buffalo Wild Wings and said he was super rad (well, he's much cooler and younger than me, so I'm sure he used much cooler verbage to describe meeting Ed). Enjoy.
Happy Sunday everyone. Happy Fantasy Football!
~Jen Sea-Hawks!